www.instagram.com/destinedwithapurposeI, (name), take you (name), to be my lawfully wedded (wife/husband), to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish; from this day forward until death do us part.
Everybody is all for it when everything is smooth sailing. When the finances are just right, the bank account tight, the children are healthy, no one’s arguing and fighting, just contentment. When life falls into place for us we can’t help but be on a natural high because there is no stress, no failure, no pain, no suffering, no tears, everything and everybody is all walking on one accord. As much as we would love for it to stay this way life can happen at any moment. And what I mean by life, it means the roller coaster ride of the ups and downs of life, the tragedies, the attack on our marriages, the family, the silent drug problem, alcohol addiction, gambling, lying, cheating, deceit, your children are acting out, etc. It all can happen at any-time, it all can fall apart at any moment if we let it. Problems that we are dealing with internally, within ourselves can become even bigger if we don’t stop it in its tracks.
"Change is inevitable we have to learn to embrace it head-on.
It’s important to stay prayerful and watchful while going through the good and the bad times.
You never know when you will need one of those prayers to pull on."
The bad times within a marriage can take a toll on the entire household. The children can feel the effects and the stress of the arguments, and more than likely they will begin to act out. The first step is to try your best not to argue in front of the children, whatever it is should be discussed privately. Which is the hardest thing to do sometimes when you have to get things off your chest, but trust; there will be less confusion within the household.
Children should not hear every disagreement between you two. Only bring a situation to them after you and your significant other have come to a conclusion concerning them. By doing this it will not make them feel as though they need to choose a side. Stability is the key to winning in this area if it is an area of concern. Children need stability and consistency.
It is a balancing act especially when children are involved.
It is important to keep an open dialog to stay on track.
When you think about marriage you think of all the pretty things, all the excitement, and happiness but that’s not all marriage is. Can you stand the test of time, when things are turned upside down? Are you only invested in your relationship when everything is good, and not present when it all goes down? This is something to really dig deep and think about for a second. Did your vows mean anything to you at all or did you just say them because it is what’s normal?
In this instance, you should have realized, that it is very imperative to mean what you say and to say what you mean.
Get your vows out and think about what each and every statement mean to you. Try to figure out if you are in this for the long run, or just for the “good time” that don’t last always. Think about if you have your significant other back if they fail to be who you thought they were, or if they are struggling with something eternally. Are you the person that they can trust, the person that will never leave their side. For better or for worse, do you really mean it, it is definitely something to think about.
As always prayer and communication is the key to stand the test of time within any type of relationship. May God Bless Your Union.
Taynia A. Mosley
Owner of Destined With A Purpose, Blogger, and Entrepreneur
Follow Ms. Taynia on INSTAGRAM
Are You Trapped In A Relationship With No Way Out?
There I was, married to a man I thought I would spend my forever with, only to find myself shattered and broken on the inside. Holding on to an empty marriage because I did not want to face failure. I did not want to face my children once "I" split up the family. So, what did I do? I continued to live as though I was happy, I continued to live in a world that I created to the public as a happy ever after but in reality it was all a façade. It was a lie. I had died on the inside, I had lost myself, my dreams, my goals, and all of my aspirations. I stopped going to church and begin to drink heavily, I was depressed. I was trapped and lost inside of my own mind, inside of my own thoughts, inside of my own head and that wasn't good for me.
How many times have we sacrificed for a man who didn't love us? How many times have we been hurt and abused while left to pick up the pieces? I had done it too many times and I was tired of living this way.
Embarrassed of my situation I shut everyone out of my life and began to feel alone. I could not take it anymore I had to get help! I begin to believe again, I began to pray again, I got back into the church and I began to seek out God, again. It was time to lose the dead weight, I was ready for a change. But, while going through this new process of life nothing around me seemed to had changed. I was still stuck in an uncomfortable situation at the home front. It was impossible for me to ignore it anymore. I had no choice but to divorce him and become a single mother. In order for me to truly find myself again, I knew this was something I had to do. I had to let go.
Sometimes in order to free ourselves, we must leave our past behind and never return.
This was not an easy task for me, and there was a lot of work in the process, but in order for me to break away, I needed to keep it moving. I had to break free in order to live a better, more healthy, and stable life for my children, and for myself.
If you have ever loved someone and they did not or do not love you back then I have a question: why are you still there? Time does not come back around and it does not stand still for anyone. Of course, I learned that the hard way by holding on to a marriage that was over years before I ever had left. It's best for you to pick yourself up, dust yourself off, let it go, and just walk away with your head held high.
There is no need to be embarrassed because it happens to the best of us.
Take it as a lesson and remember that you live and you learn. Learn from the mistakes and the many different heartbreaks and get back to know YOU again. Love yourself the proper way, make time for yourself, learn your likes and dislikes, learn your limits, and most importantly learn what you want and don't want inside of a relationship. By knowing yourself you will allow yourself to be loved the correct way because you will know all the things that you will and will not allow.
The Bible says in the King James Version (KJV) Psalms 34:18 that 18 The Lord is nigh unto them that are of a broken heart; and saveth such as be of a contrite spirit.
This scripture literally saved my life because it had become so true to me. It was in my spirit. When I felt my back against the wall, when I felt hopeless and depressed, when I felt desperate, when I felt low, when all of my self-esteem was gone I knew that the only person whom I could talk to and count on was God. There were many dark days but I am glad that I made it through by the grace of God. I surrendered my all to Him, and He pulled me through.
AFTER being broken you must know that it is a process to stay focused, and not try love again. Not until you have completely healed your heart. It's vital to NOT jump into another relationship while fixing all of your brokenness. Jumping into a relationship prematurely will cause an unhealthy relationship, and I guarantee you that you do not want to experience that again. It is important to avoid that at all costs because you have to allow time for your heart and mind to heal. Never open another door before closing the first one because you never know what type of skeletons will jump out of the closet at you.
It is key to know that your next relationship has got to be your best relationship. Learning from your past and restructuring yourself, including your thought process, your heart, the way that you move as a woman will create a new atmosphere for you and for your new relationship. Decide to be happy again, decide to give your all again, love again. He will most definitely appreciate you because you are going to be the best you that you know how to be. This is what you have been waiting for so live and love again freely and openly.
Have You Ever Wondered??
Have you ever wondered how to get the love you so desperately crave, need, and desire? It first starts with loving yourself unconditionally despite the many setbacks and mistakes you may go through. It takes a lot to forgive but most people do not know to forgive the most important person in their lives, which is the self. You have to love yourself, forgive yourself, and know-how to pick up the pieces when everything seems to be falling apart. You can't settle for stuck, you can work off of broken emotions. If you can't love yourself, how do you expect love from the world, the answer is simple, you just can't.
The Love Prayer Devotional offers you affirmation, scripture, and inspiration to love yourself and others. This book also includes writing space for your prayers and thoughts you may receive from this book while spending time with God in this 31-day devotional.
This book was created to get you to know that you deserve nothing but God's best. It will take you on a self-healing journey back to your destiny, it will push you into who you truly are called to be, but you have to do the work. There is purpose on the inside of you! You Are Destined With A Purpose!